What would you do when it comes to the person you’re crushing on?

About the Author: Takiyah Douglas (Creative Writing, Class of 2018) hopes to turn her love of writing into a career one day. Her best friend is food and her favorite opera is Trapped in the Closet.  She can be found locked her in room creating play scripts, short stories and, very rarely, poems.

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Simple Girly Issues

by Takiyah Douglas

Here’s a short tale of a girl and much more,

Whose legs were hairy and who slept with a loud snore

And though she wasn’t as girly as her sister may be,

She glowed with confidence and smiled prettily as far as the eye could see.

But one day, BAM!, it was as if she was hit by a train.

And it was probably because of that boy named Wayne.

He was tall, he was smart, oh, his shoulders were so broad,

She surely thought there was no way this guy could ever be flawed.

So out of hope, love, and total admiration,

She walked up to Wayne to start a conversation.

“Hi, I’m Bree and I think your shoulders – I mean watch – is great,

But I was wondering would it be okay to go on a date?”

He looked her up and down, inspected her like cattle,

And that made Bree nervous, so she started to prattle.

“Haha, I like basketball and I have a dog named Lee”

But he held a hand and said, “Stop, enough about your dog and his fleas.”

“You have boobs and a butt, which is so easy to see,

But your legs and eyebrows are hairy, a girl like that isn’t for me.”

“If you really want a date, then look a bit more pretty.

We’ll have dinner or watch a movie, I’ll even show you the whole city.”

And so poor, foolish Bree took Wayne for his word,

And promised to become as beautiful as a bird.

Unfortunately Bree had no idea where to start,

So she asked her sister who thought fashion was art.

She plucked her eyebrows and then waxed each leg,

The pain was so unbearable, Bree cried and begged.

Then she slapped a bunch of makeup all over Bree’s face,

And burned all her clothes, they had to be replaced.

And after three long days, that’s all it took,

Bree had finally completed her brand new look.

With smooth legs and luscious, pink lips,

She was ready to face Wayne and seduce him with her hips.

So then she went looking for him, heart beating out of her chest,

Skirt short, heels high, V-neck exposing her breasts.

And when she saw him, she was excited and ready to go,

But as she got closer, she stopped and thought ‘who is this hoe?’

‘A girl!’ She gasped, was hanging on Wayne’s arm,

Her eye widened and she screamed “Briar!” In alarm.

It was her sister! She knew she liked Wayne, so how could she do this to her?

Anger, betrayal, and jealousy had all started to stir.

So she walked up to her sister and slapped her in the face,

But that wasn’t enough, so she sprayed her with mace.

Briar screamed, clutched at her eyes, and yelled, “What are you doing!”

Bree slapped her again and said, “I bet you were screwing!”

“I can’t believe you did this, I can’t believe you lied!”

“You’re no sister to me, I wished you died!”

“I changed myself and it wasn’t even worth it!”

“Not one ounce, not even a bit!”

And all the while, Wayne stood aside,

Beaming with arrogance and gleaming with pride.

He lived for this, making girls fight,

Having them transform themselves, filling them with spite.

A while had passed, Bree and Briar were never the same.

Both filled with regret, loathing and shame.

Their relationship broken and their bond so weak,

Caused the two to separate and never to speak.

Eventually they learned that when you adore a boy,

Just be yourself, not his toy.

Copyright © Takiyah Douglas (2016) All Rights Reserved.