22 Dos and Don’ts for your 22nd birthday (or any college birthday)
I don’t know about you, T-Swift, but I found a wrinkle.  Yep, right on the outer-corner of my left eye.  All I could think was that the aging had begun; I didn’t get a full day of feelin’ 22 before it showed the downhill slope.  Birthday 21 was all about going out and buying drinks all night – YOU WERE FINALLY LEGAL!  I showed my ID off every chance I could; I was insulted when bouncers or the Price Chopper clerks didn’t ask for proof.

And then 22 came.  Birthday 22 was staying in with your roommate and friends, because let’s be honest:

1. We’re still recovering from this weekend
2. The wallets dry
3. We have responsibilities tomorrow… they don’t include a hangover.

The most surprising thing of all – I was perfectly okay with that.  I had already extended this birthday to the birthday week it deserved.  I mean, when a birthday falls on a weekday, does it really even count?

While renting a car is the next best thing, 22 is not as downhill as we might originally feel.  I am officially five short months away from my college degree.  At senior year you probably won’t know half of the underclassmen, but you still get to celebrate with all of the amazing friends you’ve made through the years.

As atonement to my last college birthday, I’m attempting to pass on some knowledge college years have given me.  Just some advice, but it is your birthday, after all.

1. Celebrate as long as you want.  Claim the weekend closest.  I went to the advisable “birthday week”, but who says it can’t be a month?

2. Do whatever your heart desires.  Go to dinner at that place you’ve been dying to try.

3. Invite all of your friends over to celebrate this magnificent event.  While you should still be respectful of your neighbors, the “it’s my birthday” excuse might get you a free pass.

4. “It’s my birthday” might also get you free booze.

5. Do not buy yourself a sash or crown.  This accessory will only make you feel invincible, which, sadly, you are not.

6. Don’t Google ideas.  Don’t let the web influence you towards amazing, yet horrible decisions.  I found a post that said 22 means the “pair-themed birthday”. Everything comes in pairs – cakes, parties, shots, etc. Prime example of an amazing, yet horrible idea.

7. While not everything should come in pairs (aka shots), some pairs can be considered: two water bottles, two ibuprofens before bed, two extra hours in bed ‘til the hangover’s passed…

8. Know your limits.  Or at least drink water.  The older you get, the longer hangovers take to recover from.  It is either hugging a bottle of Poland Spring at night, or the toilet in the morning.

9. While a crown or sash is not advisable, feel free to buy a piñata.  Because everyone deserves to get any stress out on their birthday, and beating something till candy falls out does the trick.

10. Be educated.  You are no longer the “newbie”.  21 gave you permission, 22 gives you wisdom.  “I don’t know,” sounds lame to the bartender, and if someone offers to buy you a drink, you should be quick about it.

11. Stay away from the cheap booze that left you hurting for a week last year.  The good stuff is pricey for a reason: sacrifice the extra bucks.

12. Don’t leave your drink.  Watch your drink from start to finish.  If you leave it, get another.  Being roofied can happen to anyone – even in the small town of Bennington.

13. No one likes a “runner”.  Your friends are there for a reason; stay with them.

14. Or just set up the “Find Friends” app on your iPhone before you go out.  This way they can find you.

15. It has been found that Tequila helps you lose weight.  That does not mean the more tequila, the more weight-loss.  It’s delicious, but dangerous.

16. Don’t get ripped off by the taxi driver.

17. If you go to the bar, bring cash.  Opening a tab can lead to foolish spending such as buying a round for everyone (twice).  Cash will set a limit on how much you can spend, and you can’t forget to close your tab at the end of the night and lose your card for the third time that year.

18. Get creative.  You are older, fancier, wiser, and you have a little more money than last year.  Make a theme: whether it’s a wine and cheese evening, or hot pockets with Mario Kart and a 6-pack.  (New Girl’s True American drinking game personally inspired me.)

19. Do blast Taylor Swift’s “22” song – everyday. Her lyrics hit home, and you should feel like this all the time.

20. Don’t think about 23.

21. Go out. This is your last year of college.  You probably won’t know half the kids on campus, but it doesn’t matter: Enjoy the moment.

22.  You are still young.  While you have adult responsibilities, you are not supposed to have your whole life figured out.  Relax, make memories, and enjoy Morgan

Freeman wishing you a happy birthday.