Ever wonder as a kid what  Lady and the Tramp was really about? Torrey Kurtzner attempts to find the answer as he decodes the 1955 film from Walt Disney Animation.  

Cinema Decoded: Lady and the Tramp

By Torrey Kurtzner

Lady and the Tramp:

An elegant, upper-middle class dog named Lady (you’ll never guess the gender) falls head over paws for a stray mutt named Tramp (the name “Hobo” was already taken), because of Romantic Movie Cliche #106 – opposites attract. Or, at least they do in some Disney movies.

1. Beauty and the Beast
2. Aladdin
3. Cinderella
4. Tarzan
5. The Little Mermaid
6. Pocahontas

We learn early on that Lady’s owners (who once pampered her with excessive levels of attention) have abruptly decided to treat her like a piece of shit. Or should I say, a piece of… dog shit! (#drumsolo)

Confused as to why her once loving owners have turned into assholes, Lady seeks answers from her two best friends: Jock and Trusty. They inform her that the reason her owners are acting strangely is because they’re expecting to have a baby. What’s that? A once cool and loving couple are transformed into lame, soulless jerks because they’re expecting children? Wow! Walt Disney predicted what cruel fate would greet Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith in 1998 – in 1955! RIP Fresh Prince of Bel Air. You used to be cool.

During their conversation, Tramp walks into the scene. He warns Lady by saying: “when a baby moves in, the dog moves out”, and then walks away. Thanks for the overly blatant character development, Tramp! With your contributions, I can now care about your fate for the rest of this 75-minute romp! Just kidding – I’m rooting for the baby to kill the dogs! Mwahahahahahah!

Lady’s owners eventually do have the baby, and upon meeting it, Lady is rather quite fond of the newborn child. The owners even go back to treating Lady with love and care. Huh. I guess the movie’s over.

Well, that was this week’s Cinema Decoded – wait, what? The movie’s still playing? The parents left for vacation? But they just had a baby! Who’s gonna watch the baby? Oh – Aunt Sarah is coming over. Of course.

Okay, well, can the movie end now? No? Well, why the hell not? What’s that? Aunt Sarah brought her two trouble making siamese cats with her? And they’re racially insensitive? Well, it wouldn’t be a fuckin Disney movie without a little bit of racism now, would it?

So the ONLY reason this movie is still trucking along is because of two racially insensitive siamese cats named Si and Am. They cause some trouble, almost kill the damn baby, and make Lady out to be the culprit. Upon seeing this, Aunt Sarah brings Lady to a pet shop to get a muzzle. This freaks Lady out, who then runs away, and bumps into Tramp. They trade some stories about how shitty their days are going, and then, they begin to fall in love. Hey, it’s a 75-minute movie, okay? You want more exposition between the two main characters for their “love story” to actually make sense? How fuckin insensitive of you. What about the racially insensitive siamese cats? Who’s gonna tell their story?

The two dine on spaghetti that was cooked by a madman named Tony. Tony’s Italian restaurant is in financial trouble, due to the fact that he constantly cooks food for stray animals who don’t have cash – because they’re animals. But hey, how can Tony even think about finances when he’s far too busy playing the accordion for his canine guest’s amusement? Man, why couldn’t Disney have made a movie about this guy instead?

So they’re eating the spaghetti, and they accidentally kiss. Seeing that Lady is embarrassed, Tramp pushes a meatball towards her with his nose in order to lighten up the mood. While watching this, I was like:

“Christ, man – use a fork and have some dignity! Don’t take the meatball, Lady! God only knows where that nose has been…”

After experiencing that brief panic attack, I came to my senses once I realized the following details:

1. I was yelling at an inanimate object.
2. Dogs can’t use silverware – they have no fingers! Sure, they can talk up a storm when humans aren’t around – but use silverware? Impossible. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

All is fine and dandy until it isn’t anymore. Lady finds out that Tramp has had multiple relationships in the past, and isn’t down to deal with his bullshit… Until she is again. Then they have puppies. Well – It’s great to know they were able to work everything out in the end.

So remember kids, if your relationship hits rock bottom, just have children!

Released in 1955, the film got a direct to video sequel a mere 46 years later in 2001 with Lady and the Tramp 2: Scamp’s Adventure. 46 years later, and you’re telling me Lady, Tramp AND their children are still alive? Look I don’t wanna be the bearer of bad news, but those dogs are fuckin dead.
Anyway, the sequel focuses on Lady and Tramp’s only son named Scamp (keeping the family tradition of overly obvious names that go with character personalities in check), and his journey to become a “wild dog”. Gross. I don’t even wanna know.