Here are 11 Frustrating Elements That Make Little-To-No Sense

Growing up was a unique experience for me; where most children I knew were content with the simple pleasures of toys and cartoons, I was weaned on the ink and pages of works greatly beyond child-comprehension. The vast majority of my time was spent perusing through the many stacks of cardboard boxes, filled to the brim with towers of novella that my six-years-older sister had grown out of.

In short I grew up with books, and have had plenty of time and experience to determine for myself what makes a good one. And for a long time, I’d had myself convinced that J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter was the best. Well, I said I was a strong reader; I never said I’d been smart.

My first experience with the series came at a relatively young age. Small enough, in fact, that I distinctly recall climbing into a cupboard and reading under a flashlight just to relate to what would become my childhood. I was so deeply infatuated with the series, that when I was finally forced to cease my ‘campaign’, following the end of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, I had cried for the first time in many years, and thus began a cycle of greedily reading the newest releases, and then waiting for Rowling’s follow-ups. Now, why am I telling you this? Well, partly to brag about my vast literary talent, but mostly to emphasize the fact that I know and loved the series, and honestly, can think of no better person to tear it apart. For the sake of remaining succinct, I’ll only be covering the first 3 books as they pretty much set the foundation for the later installments.

1. The letter from Hogwarts is addressed to “The Cupboard under the Stairs”.

You mean to tell me that NOBODY found this suspicious!?

Considering the fact that this letter was written by McGonagall, who is the subordinate of Albus Dumbledore, it is clear that they both were at the very least aware of his housing arrangements, which were far from stellar. This alone should have been enough to warn them that there was something very much wrong, and yet they did nothing to intervene and protect what is pretty much their messiah from the abuse of people who knew nothing of their world. Honestly, they’re guiltier for his suffering than the Dursleys when you consider the fact that they knowingly placed him in such a toxic environment.

2. The Sorting Ritual:

For one, you are essentially separating students, based on their talents and personality traits and then encouraging them to continue to stay in these groups and never search for friends outside of them. This is pretty much a glorified segregation.
I support the above note by referring to the treatment of the Slytherins. Every single one of them is pretty much treated like a criminal, right off the bat. In fact, there is a blatant stigma that says that all students who get into Slytherin have to be evil in some way. That’s a horrible way to run a program when you consider the fact that you are essentially telling impressionable children that they are of a certain group and that they cannot be anything more or less than what they are. So if you get paired with Slytherin, you cannot be anything else but cunning, deceitful, and well… evil! Considering the fact that the headmaster of the school is the supposed ‘leader of the light’, you’d think that he’d be making a stronger effort to redeem his students and set them on a better path. And yet, he does absolutely nothing to discourage the segregation.

3. Snape is a disgusting character and anyone who ‘feels bad for him’ should feel bad for feeling bad.

I genuinely hate Snape as a character. He is essentially the human personification of the word ‘asshole’. If you like him for being a jerk-bag, I can respect that. But he is not the type of person who deserves any kind of sympathy.
For one, the only reason he even joined Dumbledore was because Voldemort didn’t hold up his end of the deal. That’s not repenting or trying to do the right thing. He just wanted vengeance on his former master.

The Legend, himself: Severus Snape

He’s also the same man who started this whole shit-fest in the first place. He told Voldemort what he knew about the prophecy, knowing what would happen when he did. He got his rival/high school bully and the girl he loved killed, and then spent the next 16 years bearing a grudge, in which he viciously focused all of his hate for James Potter onto their son. From day one, he gave Harry so much shit, and he genuinely hated the boy, too! Considering the fact that he helped to make the boy an orphan before he even knew his own name, I don’t think he has any reason to be mad at the child. Dude…YOU WON! Why are you still angry?

4. Harry gets in trouble for hanging out late with Hagrid, and McGonagall punishes him by making him… hang out, late… with Hagrid?

Not only that, but he is made to do it in the spooky magical forest of death, which has creatures so dangerous that NO STUDENT is allowed in. And you’re sending an 11-year-old first year with the magical talent and usefulness of a freaking shoe? And that’s not all! You send him in to investigate some creature that’s been going around butchering unicorns. That’s right —

U-N-I-C-O-R-N-S

You know… like THIS majestic beast!

The beautiful, majestic creatures of light so pure that killing one will literally curse you for it. And something that was both reckless/desperate enough, and evil enough to kill MULTIPLE unicorns is in this magical forest of death. Yes, let’s send a bunch of defenseless kiddies into the forest after this thing with Hagrid. That’ll turn out a-okay!

5. Dumbledore removes the Sorcerer’s stone from Gringotts, what was widely believed to be the most secure place in Wizarding Britain, and hides it in the school despite knowing that Voldemort is after it.

He baits Voldemort into a school filled with children. Are you sure he’s the good guy? Because it seems like he’s constantly allowing some kind of bullshit problems to arise and then doing absolutely nothing to deal with them! Why was Satan, the snake-man-unicorn-slasher pretty much encouraged to wander about a school filled with children unobstructed?

6. Harry randomly learns that he can speak to snakes and the entire school seems to turn on him.

Slytherin’s heir is going around and petrifying muggleborn students and everyone just assumes it’s Harry. This is the same kid who is hailed as a hero and savior of the entire freaking magical world, and everyone turns on him without a second thought because he can speak to snakes. What’s worse is that Dumbledore did absolutely nothing to discourage the treatment that Harry was receiving. Shouldn’t you be taking greater strides toward helping your charge?

7. The thousand-year-old murder-snake just falls onto Harry’s Sword of Plot Convenience

Isn’t this thing supposed to be the fabled pet of Salazar Slytherin, himself? Why is a 12-year-old with no significant magical talent allowed to just stab it with a magical sword that he quite literally pulled out of a hat?

I find it very hard to believe that the ancient murder snake would let itself so easily have its eyes gouged, and then let itself get dumpster by a 12-year-old with a magical sword that he all but pulled out of his ass. Wasn’t this the fabled pet of Salazar Slytherin, himself? I find it horribly underwhelming.

8. Harry kills the Basilisk with the sword of Gryffindor Ex Machina, murders Tom Riddle, and saves the damsel in distress who looks disturbingly like his mother

Harry saves Ginny Weasley and Rowling uses this as a major plot device for the eventual ship between her main protagonist and the girl who looks oddly like his mother -gross. Hermione or Luna Lovegood would have made significantly more sense, considering just how useful they were to the plot, in the grand scheme of things. They were close friends for years, and then during the final book, spend what seems to be a really long time alongside her while searching for horcruxes. After Ron gets salty and runs off, this seems like the perfect time to spark some kind of romance, and it just never happens. As for Luna, she pretty much spent the entirety of the 6th book being a bro to him and trying to comfort him in regards to his loss of his godfather. And yet, Ginevra Weasley is the one he ends up with? That’s either lazy, or horribly misguided.

9. Everyone thinks that the boy-who-lived is being hunted by a dangerous criminal, and they try to hide it from him

At this point, Harry Potter has already pretty much foiled Voldemort thrice. In two of these situations, he’s done it almost entirely under his own power. Why is everyone trying to keep him in the dark about this? He’s already proven he’s capable enough to solo a thousand-year-old snake with a literal death glare. And you’ve all already proven that you are garbage, when it comes to doing your job in protecting him. Don’t you think that he has a right to know? Wouldn’t he be much more cooperative if he knew that someone was out to kill him?

10. Sirius Black never received a trial

You would think that, considering Albus Dumbledore’s apparent title of ‘leader of the light’, he would be working much harder to help his followers.

Sirius Black: Imprisoned for over a decade without a trial

For example: there exists a special potion called ‘veritaserum’ in the Harry Potter universe. This potion places people in some kind of trance-like state that leaves them unable to tell any kind of lie. You’d think that with a resource like that, Dumbledore would just use his massive political leverage to have Sirius Black given a fair trial, which all people have a right to. They’d slap some serum on his tongue, he’d tell them, truthfully, that he was not a death eater, and it would have at least warranted them looking deeper into the situation in order to learn the truth. Yet, that’s not what happens. He is thrown in what is considered, objectively, as the wizard equivalent of hell, without a trial. Witches and Wizards are idiots.

11. Dumbledore and McGonagall give a 12-year-old little girl magical time powers in the form of the time turner

She’s a child. A smart one, but a child, no less; at no point should a small child, not even in her teens, have ever been allowed access to a magical time-rewinding device. Especially considering the fact that said child is also best friends with a glorified trouble-magnet with a hero complex. Aren’t these people supposed to be wise? It’s not even like my concerns are unfounded because they went back in time and subsequently, were nearly killed twice in one day! Once by a swarm of soul-sucking monsters, and then again by their freaking teacher, who happens to be a freaking werewolf! For that matter, Dumbledore really should be taking greater care in his choices for DADA professors. Especially when you consider the fact that at this point, Voldemort is clearly still out there and scheming.

Honestly, there are just too many things that just don’t make enough sense in the series, to the point that I didn’t even have to look to find problems with it! Looking at the books now, Rowling’s abundance of screw-ups is so obvious that it’s actually infuriating to realize that this was ALLOWED to happen. And I really can’t determine for myself whether it was a matter of incompetence or laziness that allowed issues and inconsistencies this great to just lay there and fester. Because that’s what they did. These screw-ups were never settled; never explained. We’re just expected to accept the fact that the entire wizarding world is made up of idiots and assholes and that’s that.

Look: Despite all of my criticisms, the story was successful for a reason. It’s an amazing story filled with rich lore and exciting adventures for our protagonist. However, there are a lot of issues with the series as well that should be acknowledged because no one is perfect. No work is perfect because its writer sure as hell isn’t. Everything has its downsides, I guess. Yet, that thought does nothing to make me feel better, and so I’ll just have to settle with the fact that I might’ve ruined some other poor sap’s childhood. You’re welcome!

Tootles!